There are a lot of things about Lorelei Jade that amaze me. I mean, things that leave me seriously astounded at her little tiny self. Today is no different. One of my favorite things about her is that she really listens. Even when you wouldn't expect her to, or when you hope she isn't... she's always listening.
Sometimes, this is a very tricky thing to work around. For instance, one evening Christopher and I were having a conversation between ourselves while Lorelei was apparently in ear shot. We were discussing 'gender swaying', as my sister and brother in law really wanted to have a girl- and succeeded. Something was said about male sperm not living as long as female sperm, so timing must be key. When trying for a girl, you almost have to make sure all the male sperm will be dead before ovulation occurs, then all that are left are female. Well, Lorelei heard and understood enough to ask more questions. "Mom, why do the boys die? Who wants them to be dead? How come girls live longer? Mom, what are sperms?"
Tonight, however, was a much different experience. She was listening all the same, but the questions I got asked were so wonderful and the discussion even sweeter. On our way home from a day in Fresno I had some music playing while the girls slept. I was borrowing my friends' car and thus had her music. I was pleasantly surprised as I grabbed a random CD and threw it in the player. Jennifer Knapp came on. I hadn't listened to her in years and years (yes, unfortunately, I am old enough to use phraseology that includes a double stated 'years') but always loved this particular album. Song after song played. Track 12 began to play and I was immediately reminded of how much I loved the lyrics. The song is called
Faithful to Me
All the chisles I've dulled carving idols of stone
That have crumbled like sand 'neath the waves.
I've recklessly built all my dreams in the sand just to watch, them all wash away.
Through another day, another trial, another chance to reconcile
To one who sees past all I see.
And reaching out my weary hand I pray that you'd understand
You're the only one who's faithful to me.
All the pennies I've wasted in my wishing well
I have thrown like stones to the sea.
I have cast my lots, dropped my guard, searched aimlessly for a faith
To be faithful to me.
Through another day, another trial, another chance to reconcile
To one who sees past all I see.
And reaching out my weary hand I pray that you'd understand
You're the only one who's faithful to me.
You're the only one who's faithful to me.
While I thought Lorelei was sleeping, she was in fact listening. Very carefully listening. She made this clear when she softly spoke, "Mom, this is the most beautiful song. I love when she sings the words about her reaching out her weary hand. It's just so beautiful." I asked her what she thought Jennifer Knapp was singing about and what the word weary meant. Lorelei explained, "The song words are about being tired and knowing God will always help us to be strong and He will show us a way to be brave even if we are a little bit scared because He will always take care of us either way. That's what faith is mom and she is singing about faith."
She asked to listen to this song over and over again. To which I obliged. She then began to ask questions like, "What is a chisel? What is an idol? Why would anyone want to carve one? Is carving idols hard work? I bet that's why she has weary hands." (I had to laugh at that one) "what does it mean when when she says they all wash away? Does she want God to be faithful to her? Does everybody have to search very much to find God to ask Him to be faithful to us too? What is a trial? What does reconcile mean?"
In times like this I am so thankful God helps me explain things to her. I feel like I am never without a great answer that's just perfect for her to understand. Not due to any credibility on my part. He just meets me where I fall short.
Of parenting, thus far, tonight has been one of my favorite Mother/Daughter times. I am so thankful for Lorelei and all the different aspects she brings to my life. I wanted to pull the car over, get her out of her car seat and just hug her. I love her precious little heart. I love how sensitive she is, and how intent she is to understand everything.
Her last comments about the song were precious. As we pulled up to park the car, she asked me, "Do you think Daddy would love this song too? I think he will because I know sometimes he is tired and he always loves us so so much and God loves him so so much too. This song is my favoritest song, and Daddy is my favoritest daddy. I will ask him to put this song on my iPod when he gets to come to California too."