time isn't as great at they say

I miss my dad. That's basically all. They say that time heals, but lets be honest- that's a load of crap. All time does is allow you more opportunity to desperately learn how to cope with the grief. I'll never stop missing him, and the ache will never go away. I hate that he died. No amount of patting my back and saying, "just give it time.." is going to change that. I didn't cut my finger... my dad died. Note the difference.

I feel the same way about my five babies ♥. I think I just hate death and loss. I sometimes envy those who have never lost anyone close. Until a few years ago, I just thought everyone lost at least someone. But I've actually met people who have never had to miss someone the way that I do. It's strange to me because in my life, I've lost a lot. -to the point that it almost feels normal. So strange.

I don't want sympathy. I just wanted to vent. I hate that I didn't get to say good bye. Sometimes I think that's the most unfair part of all.