morning sickness

if you've ever experienced it, you know it so unmistakeably well. It's a sickness that sits dull and deep, not relenting. Each time you've felt it, you knew what it meant. A baby was coming. That's what it all boiled down to. This same bottom line showed it's face to me last Thursday when I woke up feeling sick.

I woke up really sick. The day was dragging on and it was miserable. Never once did it cross my mind that our lives were about to change dramatically. Never once did I stop to think that maybe, just maybe, a baby was coming. I was just sick like the rest of them.

I should have known last Thursday that it was actually morning sickness from my 24 hour pregnancy rather than the flu. I would have been much more prepared.



okay, for some serious details...





Most the world knows that our little girl, Jade, isn't actually ours. We're adopting her. It was a long journey to get to where we are, and we're so thankful for her. I think back to a year ago as we eagerly waited to go through each step of approval through the foster care system so we could have her specifically. I remember talking to her birth mom on the phone when she told me that she wanted to get Jade back, but she was pregnant again and couldn't possibly have two babies. She said that she would get Jade back and then adopt to us the new baby that was just starting to grow. Only- she failed to get Jade back from social services and we got to bring her home instead. We were (and still are) blown away by how God orchestrated all of it.

God didn't stop there. Jade's birth mom had her second baby at the beginning of October. A little girl named Meranda Rae. Shortly afterwards, she gave the baby to a family who wanted to adopt. We felt like Jade and Meranda should be together. For a while, my heart was very set on having her. We had hoped that we would be able to raise Meranda if she couldn't be raised by her mom. We wanted Jade to have her sister. In spite of all that, we knew that God is sovereign. We could rest in the fact that His plan is better than ours. We knew that Meranda was being well taken care of and loved, so we went our way.

During lunch on Thursday I got a phone call out of the blue from a social worker who is in charge of Meranda's case. She wanted us to come down to get the baby the next day. Without hesitating we packed up and headed for southern cali. Well, I hesitated a little so I could throw up from time to time. ;)

Friday afternoon we met with the social worker to sign papers, and best of all- to finally meet Meranda for the first time. Though we had come to peace with the way things were, my heart had this special, very sensitive spot just for that sweet little girl. After months and months, she was finally to be ours. We were so surprised!

Through a series of details that I'm still unsure of, the family that was going to adopt Meranda could no longer do so. Even more than that- Meranda's birth mom decided that she wanted her to be with us. Because of time restraints, things had to move quickly. We had less than 24 hours notice from the time we found out about her being placed with us until we actually had her in our arms. Today ends day 4 with her and we couldn't' be more in love.

Jade is slowly coming around to the idea that there is another child in the house. At first she wouldn't have anything to do with the baby. When asked if she wanted to see the baby, she would sigh and reply, " No thank you please." and walk away. Today she helped feed her and made sure meranda had plenty of toys all day long. She even sang "Jesus Loves Me" to help the baby fall asleep. They are so precious and wonderful.

The road ahead is still a long one. We don't really know exactly how to accomplish everything we need to accomplish, but we're trusting that God will get us through. Because Meranda was never a ward of the court like Jade is (a foster child), we are having to do everything without the help and support of Social Services. We have to file for guardianship and all of that on our own. Not only is all of it daunting because we don't know what we're doing, but also because we're paying out of pocket for all the expenses. We know that God will provide, but it is a lot to take in all at once.

Anyway, there's the update for you. So stop bugging me. Just kidding.

Thanks to all of you who have been praying for us, and more so for these wonderful little girls God has allowed us to have in our lives. Pray that it's permanent. :)