I went over all sorts of things in my head that I'm thankful for and the thing that kept coming to the forefront is that idea that I am thankful for the opportunity to be thankful. That sounds ridiculous, right? I thought so too, at first. Hey, you don't always have to agree with your own thoughts. Or maybe you're supposed to and I'm a freak. Either way.
To be thankful for the opportunity to be thankful... I think the thing of it is that I feel like I 'get' to be thankful more easily than a lot of people. As I ponder what to write about during Thanksgiving, I have a hard time deciding. Not because it's such a difficult task to pin point anything to be thankful for, but because I have such an abundance of things to thankful for. That doesn't even bring to mention the things I SHOULD be thankful for that I'm probably never even recognize.
Growing up (until about age 8) I really didn't have a whole lot to be thankful for. Not in the same sense that we often consider thankfulness. I remember one Thanksgiving at school we had to make a craft that centered around the things we were thankful for. Immediately kids started drawing and cutting and glueing as they listed all sorts of fun things they were thankful for. Their new bike, their nice house, new shoes, favorite toys. Even some less materialistic things like their family pet, good food every day, and family. I sat for a while thinking about what I would put on my page and nothing jumped to mind very quickly. I distinctly remember my teacher coming over to me and asking what I was thankful for as if to spur on my productivity.
"Well, do you have any new toys you're thankful for?" she asked.
"No, not really." I said sheepishly, thinking back to the last new toy I had gotten. I had had a birthday party over a year prior and my dad showed up out of nowhere and brought me hundreds of dollars worth of toys. A Barbie dream house, a Teddy Rucksbin (or however you spell that), and everything else under the sun that a little girl could dream of wanting. But then he disappeared again and I hadn't heard from or seen him. Missing my dad made it hard to care about the toys. They just reminded me that he was gone. Sure, I had gotten toys, but what I really wanted was my dad.
"Well, what about your nice house?" My teacher continued.
Little did she know my 'nice house' was on the verge of being condemned, it had plywood where windows had been broken out, hot water was hit and miss, and you couldn't see the floor for all the junk and trash scattered about. And the only food it had in it were the many boxes of Doritos that had been taken out of the back of a high jacked semi truck destined for Target. Which of my mom's friends stole it and parked it in our yard, I have no idea. But it was there and it was loaded full of chips and flip flops, if I remember correctly. So, that's what we ate for a while even after the police took the semi back. So, I just sat quietly.
"How about your mom or your dad? Surely you're thankful to have a mom and a dad to take care of you."
"Yeah, I guess so." So that's what I put on my craft. A picture of my mom and my dad. I was thankful for them. Just not in the same way a lot of other kids seemed to be thankful for their parents. I wasn't thankful for them because of how well they took care of me, or how much they loved me. I was thankful for them purely based on the idea that they were my parents. That was it. In truth, and despite how well they kept it together when I was much younger, the only concept of 'parents' I had was my mom as a drug addict, laying lifelessly on her water bed for hours and hours on end all day long. And my dad was in and out of our lives, gone for months at a time. He'd show up for the day and act like life was great.
That story isn't for the sake of pity, but rather contrast. How different my life is now as an adult, and even in my later childhood. Once I was removed from that situation, I suddenly had all sorts of things to be thankful for. And it seems to have increased consistently ever since. Seeing that change over the years has made me incredibly aware of just how overwhelmingly thankful I should be.
Sure, as an adult looking back, I can find things to be thankful for during that time of my life. However, most are more philosophical and theoretical than tangible.
So that brings me to today. The thing is, I don't have to sit at a desk and have a teacher help me brainstorm what I'm thankful for. I don't have to think hard, search far, or dig deep for things to appreciate and recognize as blessings. My life is so full of blatantly incredible things and circumstances, finding things to list this month is easy.
There's no way I could even pretend I lack the opportunity to be thankful.
And for that, I give thanks.
Lorelei- “I’m thankful for Bella because she’s the best dog in the whole wide world. She’s so cute and I love her so every morning I kiss her.”
Addison- “I’m thankful for Jackson that he’s so cute and I kiss him a lot and I get to hold him. I just love him a lot. And we have so much fun and I am a big sister.”
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